Am I Being Abused?

Most victims/survivors we speak with narrowly define abuse as obvious violence but abuse is far more than a black eye. It involves a wide array of intense mental, emotional and non-physical assaults long before it becomes violent, if it ever does. Please review this list and be honest with your answers.

Does your partner:

  • Embarrass or humiliate you with put-downs in private or in groups of people?
  • Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
  • Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
  • Stop you from or coerce or threaten you to stop seeing your friends or family members?
  • Take your money, payroll or Social Security check, Child Support payments, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
  • Make all of the decisions?
  • Tell you that you’re a bad parent, are crazy, stupid, incompetent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
  • Prevent you from working or attending school or church?
  • Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it altogether (it’s all in your mind)?
  • Destroy your personal belongings or threaten to kill or injure your pets?
  • Threaten & intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
  • Shove, slap, choke, kick or hit you?
  • Pin you to the floor, take or break all the phones, block the doorway or otherwise restrain you?
  • Force you to kiss, touch or have sex with them?
  • Threaten or intimidate you to stop you from calling the police or to drop the charges?
  • Threaten to commit suicide?
  • Threaten to kill you?

If you answered ‘yes’ to any of the above or several or all of them, is this the only time it ever happened? Is it getting worse? If you answered “yes” to even one of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship, please call us.

If you find yourself thinking or saying to yourself or those around you:

                    

please call us. If it was once, it will be again, IT IS NEVER YOUR FAULT, we all make choices about how we deal with people every day, don't minimize how you feel and if he really loved you, he wouldn't hurt you!

Domestic Violence doesn’t just spontaneously stop when they or you get sober, you get married, have a baby or with time, please let us help you make a plan for your safety.
Call 937-498-7261, let’s talk.

Further Information

There are many signs of an abusive relationship. The most significant sign is fear of your partner. Other signs include a partner who belittles you or tries to control you, and feelings of self-loathing, helplessness, and desperation.

To determine whether your relationship is abusive, answer the questions in the table below. The more “yes” answers, the more likely it is that you’re in an abusive relationship.

SIGNS OF AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP

Your Inner Thoughts and Feelings

Your Partner’s Belittling Behavior

Do you:

  • feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
  • avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
  • feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
  • believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
  • wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
  • feel emotionally numb or helpless? 

Does your partner:

  • humiliate, criticize, or yell at you?
  • treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
  • ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
  • blame you for his own abusive behavior?
  • see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Your Partner’s Violent Behavior
or Threats

Your Partner’s Controlling Behavior

Does your partner:

  • have a bad and unpredictable temper?
  • hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you? 
  • threaten to take your children away or harm them?
  • threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
  • force you to have sex?
  • destroy your belongings?

Does your partner:

  • act excessively jealous and possessive?
  • control where you go or what you do?
  • keep you from seeing your friends or family?
  • limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
  • constantly check up up on you?

 

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